Unfortunately, Rain Man was not as amusing high on nitrous oxide as I anticipated. He was very subdued and talked a lot about a pine cone he saw once. So, moving right along…
Before kids, there wasn’t much a person could say to me that would make me break out in to a cold sweat. “Hey, that’s a cool poisonous snake on your head!” would be an exception, of course. But now that I have children, I find horror in seemingly innocuous statements.
Things my kids have said in the last 24 hours that have produced many grey hairs include:
“I got a broom!”
“Look what my peanut can do!”
“Hey, Foodie! Let’s go outside!”
“I’m gonna hide in the dryer!”
“I found scissors!” in conjuction with “I want a haircut!”
And finally, the sentence that caused me to question my life choices:
“Only 2 more days of school til summer!”
Oh, God. No. NO. NOOOOOOO!!!