Funny Business

I am calling shenanigans on Foodie.

She loves to grocery shop. There are people to smile at and sometimes a free sample or a special treat for her. She is extremely well-behaved in grocery stores. (It’s had to notice when the whole brood is with me, however because the twins lose their freaking minds in grocery stores.)

But, there is one particular grocery store that horrifies Foodie. When we pull up to the store, she starts to whimper. When I unbuckle her carseat she tries to rebuckle herself. When I haul her in to the store, she stiffens her entire body so it is impossible to get her in the cart and screams bloody murder. She continues to express her dislike of this store throughout even if I try to distract her with snacks. (Yeah, if my child is hysterical in the store, I am That Mom. I will open a package and give my kid something to eat. I have paid for empty boxes on more than one occasion. It’s awful. I know. Stop looking at me with those judging eyes.)

Here’s the kicker: the grocery store she hates is our local food co-op. It’s the natural, healthy food store where I get all my bulk grains and psychotically healthy snacks. It’s the store responsible for keeping us stocked in quality whole foods.

Does Foodie throw a fit in Walmart? Heck no. Target? No way. Any other chain store on the planet? She loves them. But, the local, organic, sustainable store? Hate. Pure hate. I don’t get it because the co-op has way more interesting snacks. Peanut butter pretzels and falafel chips? Way awesome!

I think she is trying to wear me down and sabotage my healthy diet master plan. She clearly thinks that making shopping at the co-op difficult for me will result in me feeding her a diet that consists entirely of hot dogs and Skittles. She’s a sneaky little bug. But, I am sneakier.

I know how to put organic, dye-free macaroni and cheese in a brand-name blue box. And guess who is never the wiser? Mwahahaha!


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