Toddler Shoes

Funny Business, parenting fail

After today, I am a firm believer that shoes for all children under the age of 5 should come attached to pants and/or tights like pajama footies.

I took the kids to the Childrens Museum today and Foodie promptly lost one of her adorable white and hot pink canvas shoes. (I don’t like gender stereotyping, but I love adorable shoes. Especially if they have bows.)

I thought I was being clever when I told the boys I would let them buy a piece of penny candy from the museum store if they found her shoe. But, they never found the shoe and did definitely melt in to hysterics because they thought that meant they wouldn’t get a piece of candy. (Yes, I bought them the stinking candy.)

As I was feverishly crawling through preschooler-sized exhibits, I wondered if it was possible to design shoes that didn’t immediately leap off the feet of toddlers.

For us, that would mean Mary Jane style shoes would be completely out. Those little canvas shoes are cute, but one flimsy elastic band is NOT going to help a shoe stay in place. Ever.

Tie shoes aren’t happening either. I love my children but I am terrified of tying their shoes. Whenever I bend over to help one child with their shoelaces, at least one other child will take my position as an opportunity to play “horsey” with me. I will get tackled from behind, pitched off balance, and spend the next hour picking gravel out of my teeth.

Flip flops….only if I would rather carry shoes while my kids pelt around barefoot. I am an adult and sometimes I can barely keep flip flops on my feet.

Boots are only used in dire situations where hypothermia is a distinct possibility. Getting a small child in to a boot is like trying to dress a greased piglet in a leather catsuit. It’s a difficult and almost always futile endeavor that puts you at risk for being bitten or pooped on. And it annoys the pig.

I was dangerously close to giving up on the shoe and just running to Target so Foodie wouldn’t have to be carried for the rest of the day when I found that blasted shoe wedged under the groundwater exhibit.

I popped it on her foot and set her free. I sat down and watched as the other shoe fell off as she rounded the corner to get to the slide.



One thought on “Toddler Shoes

  1. Random memory: Jane Pauley once said, she was able to do her job on the Today Show because she had a husband who could find toddler shoes. What does one do when the husband isn’t there? Just be glad that you get help 50% of the time, I guess.
    Sounds like things worked out at the museum…yay, Mom.
    I hate losing things, especially when they come in groups or pairs: shoes, earrings, puzzle pieces, game pieces, silverware, etc.

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