I Scream

Funny Business

I took the kids to the Y to play last night while I ran for a while. But, because I am clearly illiterate I didn’t realize we had arrived 20 minutes before closing time we had to hustle out of there rather quickly. (I am one to assume that summer hours are usually LONGER than winter hours, but the YMCA wants me to go outside and is encouraging it by closing early. I so wish I would have known that like, two days ago.)

So, we were in a pickle. Husband had the car and we were stranded at the Y for at least another half an hour. But, I knew our car was within walking distance.

As I stared down the 10 blocks ahead of us, I knew this walk was going to be a challenge. The twins are little runners and could pelt down the street in no time. But, Foodie is like a slow-moving squirrel with ADHD. She likes to run, but never as fast as her brothers and never in a straight line.

So, I had to figure out a way to keep them going all the way to the car and all together AND on the sidewalk. It was looking more and more daunting by the second. Especially because Foodie was trying to hide in a bush, Cereal Killer was running like a mad man, and Rain Man was sticking his face in the drainage ditch.

“Hey, who wants ice cream?” I asked. They all turned to me like hunting dogs tracking a duck. I had them.

“Stay with me, walk together, and when we get to Daddy and the car, I will take you for ice cream.”

If you would have seen me after that, you would have seen me walking blissfully with three little cherubs sweetly skipping by my side. They were good as gold the whole way to the car.

As soon as they got to the car, however, they began running around the vehicle while screaming like meth-addicted banshees.

It still earned them ice cream, though. No one ran in to traffic and nothing was lost down a sewer. That’s worth a kiddie cone with candy eyeballs, if you ask me.

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