There is a very strong negative correlation between how much a child needs a nap and how much a child wants a nap. (It is significant on the p=.0h my GOD, go to BED level.)
(1 child + 1 Popsicle) 5 minutes alone = 2 hours of clean up
It is impossible to divide a piece of gum in to three equal parts. (At least, that is what my children have lead me to believe with their hollering about who got the “big” piece.)
Five-teen is definitely a real number. Please stop telling Rain Man otherwise. The “Five-teen Fits” are getting a little absurd. (I will just have to send his teacher a fruit basket next year as an apology.)
Expensive ingredients + large amount of effort and time spent in preparation = Disinterested eaters
Box of macaroni and cheese + “Oh, crap. Lunch is in 5 minutes” = Famished and delighted diners
(1 boo-boo + 1 bandage) kisses from Mama = All better!