Foodie is still learning how to kiss people.
For the longest time, her kisses involved licking someone’s face and then giving them a big hug. It was disgusting and adorable at the same time.
Yesterday, I decided it was high time she learned how to give a proper kiss so she wouldn’t completely gross out her grandparents every time she wanted affection. So, I asked her if she wanted kisses. Being an incredibly affetionate child, she climbed right in to my lap and smiled up at me.
“MWAH!” I said, as I made an exaggerated kissy face, ending in a nice little peck on the cheek. “You wanna try?”
“MWAH!” said Foodie. And then she head-butted me.
“That’s…not quite right,” I said, rubbing my throbbing nose. “Try again!”
“MWAH!” she said again enthusiastically. This time she bit my lip and slobbered on my chin.
She’s not getting this. At all. Maybe one last time.
“MWAH!” went Foodie. And she went in for a kiss. A big, open-mouthed, all-tongue kiss.
And I think we just made it worse. Much worse. I definitely preferred the simple licks she used to give. To Foodie’s future spouse: I am so sorry and, you’re welcome.