Bedtime Blues

Funny Business

Well, it’s official. My child is alive because of photosynthesis. She has to be. That’s the only explanation I have for Foodie’s sleep habits. I mentioned she gets up at the butt-crack of dawn? Well, she also doesn’t go to sleep at night until…about 5 minutes before she wants to get up for the day. (By my scientific estimations, that is…)

Sometimes she will psych us out by pretending she is going to go to bed like a normal human being at an acceptable hour. But, like Chuck Norris, she doesn’t sleep. She waits. Somewhere around 11pm, she’ll sneak out of her room. Sometimes she comes downstairs to beg for a glass of water, a hug, a blanket, a Swiss army knife, steak dinner… you know, the usual stuff. That I can handle. I can usually pacify her with a hug or some milk and then tuck her back in to bed with a good success rate.

But, Foodie doesn’t always want to be discovered and sent back to bed. That sneaky little ninja will creep in to the twins’ room and hop in to bed with one of the boys. (Usually Cereal Killer is her victim. Those two are two peas in a pod.) And if she would just go to sleep, I would even be willing to accept her nocturnal wanderings. But, of course, she doesn’t sleep. Or wait. She pokes. She picks at her brothers until they wake up so she has someone to play with.

But, my boys are mini-bears. They don’t want to get up in the middle of the night to build train tracks for their sister. So, they HOWL and I have to bolt upstairs to save them from the sleep-disturbing menace before they wake up enough to whack her in the head and push her off the edge of the bed.

Rinse and repeat.

Seriously, can we have some research and development team get on that coffee IV already?


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