Heart Attack in a Diaper

Funny Business, parenting fail

I have a feeling Foodie has a thing for Anderson Cooper. She must. Why else would she be trying to turn my hair white?

I took the kids to the beach today for some fun in Lake Superior. (It’s amazing how freezing cold that water is and how it doesn’t seem to deter the kids from leaping in to the waves with wild abandon.)

Well, right by the beach is a little park with some playground equipment. It’s got preschooler-sized swings and climbing toys. And, a completely illogical 24 foot tall curvy slide perched right in the thick of it. Whoever thought of that deserves a swift kick in the shins.

The twins were having a ball darting around the playground and shooting down the slide. It was only a matter of time before Foodie, in her pink tutu’d swim suit, decided she needed to go down the slide, too.

She’s usually pretty daring about slides, but this one was WAY too big for her. In true Foodie fashion, she snuck up the slide regardless of my insistence that she stay off it.

We’d have a non-story if she would have just gone down the slide. But, she didn’t. She panicked. She realized how high up she was and she freaked out. She didn’t want to go down the slide, she wanted to come down the steep and infarction-inducing ladder.

I started up the ladder to rescue her, having a tiny internal panic attack at the heights and potential weight limit of the ladder that was probably being exceeded. She was getting more and more panicky as the ladder shook so she did what a panicked two-year-old should do. She tried to get to Mama as fast as possible.

She jumped.

I may never have been very good with sports that require hand-eye coordination, but I made the game-winning catch.

The impact of her little body flying in to mine almost pitched me off the ladder. Terrifying!! We slowly descended, hanging on to each other for dear life. Then we went to the beach blanket I had set up and continued hanging on to each other for dear life.

I swear I shaved a few years off my life with that one and I can see a new swipe of grey hair on my head.  She better pick a REALLY nice retirement home for me in the future!


2 thoughts on “Heart Attack in a Diaper

  1. I was already starting to go grey in my early 20’s.
    But ever since the twins were born the number of grey hairs has increased 10 fold and no amount of dye will placate it!
    I had an “episode” with them on Monday night. I dont think I could count the number of grey hairs (and the subsequent migraine) that appeared.

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