The Wheels On The Bus

Good Reads, parenting fail

Yesterday we decided to try something different. In order to try to save a few bucks, we tried taking the bus in to town for grocery shopping.

I diligently packed my cloth bags and brought along emergency diapers and even a few small toys to keep the children happy. My intentions for the day were all very, very good. But, you know what road is paved with good intentions.

We got to the bus stop seconds after the bus did and made a mad, comical rush to it. It was like Braveheart with toddlers. The bus driver regarded us with thinly veiled loathing. (Not sure I blame him. Little kids associate riding a bus with “The Wheels on the Bus”. And something tells me there are only so many refrains of that song a person can really handle in their lifetime. Bus drivers exceed that limit in like, 5 minutes of work.)

The ride in to town was uneventful aside from the twins talking constantly. I mean, it was non-stop verbal diarrhea from those two. I can tune it out but, I felt bad for the guys behind us.

And then we missed our bus stop. The bus driver, in order to save time and make it to his stops on schedule kind of coasts through most stops if he thinks no one is getting on or off. We’re highly unexperienced riders and were waiting for a stop to stand up. So, the driver had to turn the bus around and re-stop at the stop. He looked like he wanted to run us over with the bus at that point.

We shopped, got some snacks to pacify the hungry mob of children, and then waited for the next bus to come and pick us up. I was seriously hoping we’d get a different driver, but no. Same guy. Still hated us.

On the ride home there was a transfer from one bus to the next. We jumped off the bus and my husband got a panicked look on his face.

“My phone!”

But, of course, the bus driver tore out of the bus stop like he was on fire. Apparently he will only turn around one time per person, per day. So, we had to wait in a small, echo-y lobby for that bus to come back around with the phone. In the meantime, Foodie decided she was too hot and crabby to act human so, she started shrieking like a pterodactyl. Rain Man began shouting to hear his voice echo, and Cereal Killer tried to escape and run down the street. Best 20 minutes of my life, there.

Foodie continued to wail on the bus and kept it up the whole ride home. As I dumped my groceries on the kitchen table, I wondered if it was possible to live on local grasses and twigs alone. I never want to take the bus and go grocery shopping again.

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