Yesterday I taught Little Church for the first time.
I was so prepared. The readings that day had to do with the kingdom of Heaven being a treasure so, I was going to help the kids make little treasure boxes that they could decorate and fill with crackers and chocolates. I mean, I was ON with this idea.
Unfortunately, my children were not on with this idea.
I had about 8 other kids come to Little Church and they were great. They were polite, quiet, and they thought my craft was awesome. Now, if I could have gotten rid of my own children, it would have been perfect.
Foodie was off with Great Grandma eating her weight in chocolate chip cookies so, I had just the twins. And an absurdly rough distraction of goodies for the church coffee social on the counter of the Little Church room.
Rain Man started loudly complaining he was hungry. If that counter had been full of carrots, he would have sworn he had just eaten a turkey dinner with all the trimmings. When I denied him the confections, he decided it was time to fight dirty.
Rain Man took Cereal Killer in to the supply closet and proceeded to take out armloads of toys. They threw them around the room and acted like stinkers to try to get my attention and possibly a cupcake. Those two made a huge mess and made Little Church the longest 35 minutes of my life.
Nothing is more embarrassing than a six year old asking you why your kids are acting like fools.
And nothing is more frustrating than remembering you are in church, making you unable to give the six year old the honest answer that’s in your mind.