Show Off

Funny Business

I know it’s “normal” for kids to show off when there are people around. I get that. I saw a little boy today who made noises like a macaw every time someone would look at him. I can handle that. Heck, I can even give him a cracker.

But, last night the children started a ridiculous show-off game of one-upsmanship that was rather embarrassing and required a long cleaning session that, due to the proximity of the children, had to remain expletive-free. (Scrubbing I can do. Not swearing while scrubbing? Eh….not so much.)

So, a friend came over and the kids went from lounging on the couch to ricocheting off the walls in seconds. I have no idea why one, singular human being gave them the energy of a team of oxen, but whatever.

From there, the game of horrors started. Aili took a crayon and scribbled on a piece of paper while looking sweetly at our guest. So, Peter took a crayon and scribbled on the easel while looking sweetly at our guest. This caused Robert to cackle evilly, take a fistful of crayons, and scribble all over the floor. That’s a common progression, right?

Once that floodgate was opened, it became a free-for-all. We contained them as much as possible, but in the end it looked like Rainbow Brite went on a bender and hurled all over the tiled floor. Some people roll out the red carpet for their visitors. We, apparently, go above and beyond by just making the floor red. And green. And fuchsia. And puce. And aquamarine.

Moral of the story: You are not invited to my house. Ever. I am out of Resolve and my hands get tired after a few sustained minutes of scrubbing with a Magic Eraser.

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