Go To Bed


I forgot the cardinal rule of parenting last night.


As my newly created adage goes: “When bedtime is missed, the toddler gets p—-d.”

(That should be on t-shirts. Seriously. I am mega-proud of that one.)

Usually the kids go to bed around 8pm, but I am an idiot and I took them out to the YMCA while Daddy was at a rehearsal in town. We had to wait until he was done at 9pm. By the time we got home, it was fastly approaching 10pm.

The boys were over-tired and crabby, but they fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows. Aili, on the other hand, went Sleepy-insane.

She started howling about the pillow pet that got left in the car, then she was howling about needing a snack, and then it was about a story.

“I need a bedtime story!!!” she squealed so high, it allowed dogs across the state to hear her shrill pleas.

“Here’s your story,” I said. “Once upon a time there was a princess who wouldn’t go to bed. She was eaten by a dragon. The end.”

“That’s not a story!” my little gremlin growled at me. “It needs PICTURES.”

I contemplated drawing that story up for her, but that seemed like a bit much.

“Here’s another story,” I sighed. “Once upon a time a little princess missed her bedtime because she was busy playing in tot watch. Her mother knows better than to ever do that again because it makes the princess turn in to a gremlin. And then they were all eaten by dragons. The end. I love you. Good night.”

That story did the trick, more or less, and Princess Crabby-butt huffed off to bed and fell asleep in seconds.



5 thoughts on “Go To Bed

  1. I like it! I once told mine, “Once upon a time there was a little boy who cried. The end.” It didn’t work either.

  2. I used to say “then his mommy made him eat vegetables.” Because my kids feared vegetables more than they did dragons.

    And you really need to re-engage your Facebook page. I would love to share this one. 🙂

    1. It posts to her personal facebook feed but it doesn’t give you the “share” option below it for some reason. So for anyone right now the easiest way to share is just to copy and paste the article’s address into your status.

  3. Ugh. Today a nap was missed, so our toddler was p-. He threw tantrums about EVERYTHING from toothpaste to mama’s-home-so-I’ll-scream-and-claw … Feeling your pain, fellow mom.

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