This was supposed to be written and published this morning (as I was informed, late last night, by my Dear Wife).
But it wasn’t. Obviously.
For one, I didn’t get much sleep last night so I was mostly incoherent this morning. But the bigger reason?
IT’S SUMMER VACATION! WOOOO!!!
Parents of young children already know what this means:
Up at the crack of dawn!
Bleary-eyed feeding of cereal! (Or whatever was in that box I grabbed…)
Informing the children that we are, in fact, out of milk! (We must go through, like, a gallon an hour in this house apparently because we always seem to be out of milk.)
Soothing, half-hour long tantrums about said milk situation!
Repeated requests to maybe put some clothes on before noon! (Running around in your undies is kind of creepy even when the person in question is five, it turns out).
Informing the children that pummeling one another is not considered an acceptable pastime!
Preventing the children (who promised to stay in the yard) from running straight into traffic!
Presentation of carefully-prepared lunch!
Immediate rejection of said lunch and soothing, half-hour long tantrums!
Abortive attempts to take naps! (This is mostly for daddy…alas…)
Abortive attempts to clean the entire house so wife is not irate when she gets home! (Children chasing daddy around in the laundry room is FUN!)
Wife comes home genuinely irate that the house is still “somehow” a mess! (A mystery!)
Daddy crashes from exhaustion, reemerging at the crack of dawn the next day…