To continue on yesterday’s “boot to the head” fly-killing experience, I would like to tell you all a little story about why I don’t bring my children to concerts yet.
People tend to find that shocking, considering my children have performers for parents. I do theatre and drum corps, my husband sings, conducts, and plays in multiple local groups. Sitting at a concert or play should be old hat to my kids. Most children of performers are used to this sort of thing.
Most performers don’t have wolverines for children.
I tried in vain to get my children psyched for my husband’s outdoor chorus concert. But, I knew deep down this was not going to happen. I mean….outside. Nature. A playground. An ice cream stand?! Those fellas up there singing “My Girl” didn’t stand a chance. They were competing with squirrels and sticks. In total, I saw 2 songs. The first and the last. Everything in between was a loss because I had to chase the kids over at the playground and on the lake shore. And I didn’t even get a “calm before the storm” where I could enjoy the parts I saw, because my children are…my children.
As soon as we sat down, Aili began frolicking. And that’s okay. It’s outdoors and she was cute.
Until her pants fell off.
She was in front of the band shell, dancing around with her entire rump hanging out of her pants without a care in the world. The audience slowly started to notice her shaking her bare booty and a few quiet giggles came from the crowd. Soon the whole crowd was staring at her and snickering as the Nature Child continued to let it all flap in the breeze.
I considered keeping still and hoping no one noticed she belonged to me, but I knew she looked too much like me for me to be able to deny her. So, I had to ninja crawl up to the stage, tackle her, and re-tighten the elastics on her pants before releasing her back in to the wild.
Soon after that, the twins started climbing on the benches to prairie dog at the slide that was stationed about 50 yards.
Concert viewing over. Time to check out that slide before you stress out the elderly concert patrons more than you already have.
Maybe next year we’ll be able to sit still for 2 songs in a row…