I’ve Made a Terrible Mistake

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There are two things Aili does that she shouldn’t be doing any longer.

1. She sneaks in to my bed while Daddy is on midnight shifts and thoroughly enjoys sleeping in our big bed.

2. She still tries to nurse. Once a child can ask for milk in full sentences and is better at unhooking a bra than most adult men, I think it’s time to give it up. Aili disagrees.

Well, the other night Aili was in my bed, chasing me around all night. She would scoot close to me and I would scoot away. It was hot and, even in sleep, I was in no mood to cuddle with a sticky-warm three year old. Eventually I ended up on my husband’s side of the bed with Aili taking over the middle.

At 7 in the morning I heard my husband come home from work. He came down to the bedroom and climbed in on my side so as not to disturb the Force. (If you think Darth Vader is nasty, you haven’t seen me when I am woken up prematurely.)

After a few minutes, our sleeping beauty started to wake up. Still on auto-pilot, she started scooting over to where I normally sleep. She reached out with her sleepy hand and – score! Mama’s shirt was already off so, nursing would be easy.

As she nuzzled around, looking for a nipple, the realization that the chest she was trying to attach herself to was flatter and harrier than usual was starting to dawn on her.

Aili sat bolt-upright in the bed with a look of horror on her face. She had just tried to nurse on her daddy.

We tried to stifle our laughter as Aili sheepishly buried her head in to my side.

She never did ask to nurse that morning. I think we’ve found our secret weapon.

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