Holy Cow


We took a hiatus from church for quite a while after someone left a pamphlet in my pew about how children should behave in church. I was thoroughly offended because, yes, the kids were a little rowdy at that time but, they were all in that spazzy toddler-preschooler stage. Also, they were there. I did not take kindly to someone telling me in a passive-aggressive way they did not want to worship with my children.

Jesus is quoted saying, “Let the little children come to me.” Now, I cross-referenced this  quote to make sure the next line wasn’t, “but only if they are well-behaved, quiet, in suits, and follow Mass without thine attention straying.”

It’s not.

So, it was a little bit of a struggle for me to get back in to the church-going spirit. But, we started going regularly again this school year and it hasn’t been too terrible. I guess. You know. Within reason.

Who am I kidding? We are going to get a baker’s dozen of those pamphlets any day now.

This last Sunday, Robert and Aili were fighting like cats and dogs in church. They both NEEDED the same little stuffed animal that had been smuggled in to the sanctuary so, I had to separate them almost immediately. Somewhere around the homily, Robert got a glint in his eye that worried me significantly.

“What are those candies you get from the priest?”

“Those aren’t candies,” I whispered. “Those are communion wafers.”

“I want one.”

‘You can’t have one. You are too young, plus, they taste like cardboard. You wouldn’t like them,” I told him.

“I am going to get one.”

I looked panicky at my husband. Determined Robert is nothing to screw around with.

“I can’t take Robert up there during communion. I don’t know what find of reaction time Father has and I think we have a real possibility of causing a religious disaster with Robert.”

Much to Robert’s chagrin, we hung back well out of the reach of the priest’s bowl of wafers.

So, we successfully avoided excommunication for another day. Whew!



2 thoughts on “Holy Cow

  1. Children in church is a challenge, yet with patience they we come to understand the reasons. The pamphlet bearer should go to confession … That disgusting, how about “can I help you with the boys?”

  2. When my kids were little, I had a parishioner come up and tell me that we’d ruined the service for them. It’ was pretty devastating because I was really making an effort at going regularly and sitting near the front so they could see what was going on. I never went back.

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