Parent Texts

parenting fail
The following are Honest-to-God conversations my husband and I have had.
Dad: How it goes?
Mom: the boys sort of cleaned their room
Mom: because i yelled at them and told peter i couldn’t get to his barf and clean his bed until the room was cleared
Dad: You’re a good motivator baby lol
Mom: yes, clean your room or you have to sleep in puke. i am pretty sure that one is in the dr. sears book
Dad: It should be. Very useful

7:07AM – Yes, we were in the same building. He was just texting from bed, the lazy bum…
Dad: You’re up already?

Mom: i’ve been up for 2 hours
Mom: i made aili’s snack, blogged, and had coffee
Dad: Did you get up on purpose?
Mom: not entirely
Mom: do i ever?

Dad: Did they like dinner?
Mom: they refused to eat it
Dad: More for me

And last but not least, a facebook conversation that began with a public status update after I found a tick crawling on my neck. ON MY NECK!
Dad: “It turns out my wife will scream with the same intensity and duration whether giving birth or if she thinks she might have a tick on her.”
Mom: I cried less when I had the twins, to be honest.
Dad: I should’ve sedated you.
Mom: I need sedation. Not sure if I can sleep knowing there is a tick in my house.
Dad: Screaming and paranoia are the first signs of Lyme Disease I think
Mom: Ass.

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