Halloween Recap

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With Peter being a “forced non-participant” in Halloween festivities after trying to give himself a five-fingered discount at the store, our usual Halloween felt a little disjointed.

I went to school with the boys for part of the day to help with their parties and costume parade. I decided to dress as a giraffe, complete with high heels because I will do anything for a laugh. Ha! Tall girl in tall shoes dressed like a giraffe! Hilarious!

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I almost immediately began to regret that decision. Those shoes were not built for traipsing around the school and neighboring retirement home for two parades. My feet were killing me in no time so, my gait was a little less than graceful. Also, for some reason, many children thought I was a zebra. I am having my doubts about the public school system. As soon as humanly possible, I left the kids and returned home to suffer in silence.

Oh, did I mention I had a broken tooth fixed that morning as well? I have weak teeth and I like to crunch hard candy. It’s not a good combination. But, my dentist is wonderful and fixes me up with virtually no pain. Well, at least not while I am in the office.

I left the chair all numb on one side and drooling. Since I have a difficult time getting numb, he basically gave me shots all over my mouth, including one right in the tongue. So, I was slurring like a champ and drooling all over myself for the better part of the day. I am sure the teachers thought I was a real winner when I rolled in with the snack trays, stumbling on my heels and slurring. I am probably going to start getting notes home about when the local AA chapter meets.

Eventually the numbing went away and was promptly replaced by a throbbing ache. Apparently those shots are given so you forget when the hygienist hauled off and sucker punched you in the jaw. I am relatively sure that didn’t happen, but it sure felt like it. Since I was feeling like garbage, I stayed home with our little thieving hooligan while Brandon took the other two kids out to trick-or-treat and go to a party. Hooligan realized I was going to be no fun after I told him to write me a letter on why stealing is wrong so, he went to bed at around 6:30pm. (It felt like I punished him, he rewarded me. It was surreal!)

I stuck around the living room to watch for trick-or-treaters but, we got a grand total of 6 kids this year. Someone must have spread the word that I am Mean and I was handing out boxes of raisins and bags of pretzels. Either that or kids have figured to go to the big suburbs with lots of houses crammed together. There’s some major distance between houses out here so, they have to work for their candy in these parts!

The trick-or-treaters we did get were mostly in that Questionably Too Old To Trick-or-Treat stage. They just stand there silently with bags open. Hey, this isn’t the dole line, kiddo. Say the magic words or scram. I will expect you to be back later to egg my house, yes. How hard is it to say, “Trick or treat”? Seriously! Bah humbug!

Eventually the others returned with overflowing bags of goodies and an impending sugar crash. All that was left for me to do was to sort the candy for things they are allergic to and things that I am sure I want to eat more than they do.

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