How The Kids Stole Christmas

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Every child

In my house

Liked Christmas a ton….

But they all let their fingers wander

and touched the tree for fun.

They did it always!

The whole Christmas season!

Now, please don’t ask why.

No one quite knows the reason.

It could be that their heads weren’t screwed on quite right.

It could be, perhaps, that their mom was uptight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been their level of patience was two sizes too small.

But, Whatever the reason,

Patience or me,

They stood there December 17th,

touching the tree.

Staring down from the couch with a sour, Grinchy frown

As the warm lights of the tree shook all around.

For I knew many ornaments were falling down

To the waiting cats to start batting around

“You’re going to break something!” I snarled with a sneer.

“Christmas is coming! It’s practically here!”

Then I growled, with my grinch fingers nervously tapping,

“I MUST find a way to keep my nerves from snapping!”

For, tomorrow, I knew…

…All the darn kids

Would wake up bright and early.

They’d rush for that tree!

And then! Oh, the debris!

Oh, the debris! Debris! Debris!

That’s one thing Mom hated!

The DEBRIS! DEBRIS! DEBRIS! DEBRIS!

Then the kids, all tired out, would sit down to eat.

And they’d eat! And they’d eat!

And they’d EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!

They would spill the cereal,

and make crumbs with their toast

Which was something Mom couldn’t stand the most!

And THEN They’d do something she liked least of all!

Every child left the table,

Dishes big and small,

Would be left on the table, for mom to clean up.

They’d run off to play.

Not even removing a cup!

They’d run! And ignore their mom

AND they’d PLAY! PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!

And the more mom thought of the Tree-Breakfast-Rot

The more mom thought, “I must stop this whole lot!

“Why for 7 years I’ve put up with it now!

I MUST stop this irritating cycle! …But HOW?”

Then she got an idea!

An awful idea!

MOM GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

“I know just what to do!” Mom laughed in her throat.

She picked up the keys and put on her coat.

And she chuckled, and clucked,

“What a great Mom Ploy!

“I will fix this problem and enjoy it a lot!”

“All I need is a snowball…”

Mom looked around.

Snow is not scarce,

there was tons to be found.

So shoveled a mound.

Then she took some cold water

And she thought how this would thrill her daughter.

THEN

She shaped the snow

And then stepped back

It was perfect and did not lack.

Then mom said, “KIDS!”

And heard them thunder out

Toward their snowsuits where they

All got dressed with a shout.

All poured outside.

Quiet snow filled the air.

They jumped in the snow without a care

When they saw the big lump of snow they stopped short.

“This is for you to play with,” mom said. “Go! Cavort!”

And threw a bag of plastic ornaments on the ground.

The mound was a tree!

All made of snow!

It was all for them, anything goes!

Mom went in the house after a moment or two.

They were happy and mom was, too.

Then mom thought of something she hadn’t before!

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t need a perfect tree.

“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…can be a little messy!”

And what happened then…?

Well…in Negaunee they say

That mom’s short patience

Grew three sizes that day!

And the minute her heart didn’t feel quite so tight,

She whizzed through the house in the bright morning light

And she made some hot chocolate!

And marshmallows, too!

And mom… …MOM HERSELF…!

Learned to have some fun, too.

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