The Newest Threats to Breakfast Security


Robert is a very opinionated little dude. That is a nice way of saying that he can occasionally be a royal pain in the butt. THAT is a nice way of saying… never mind.

Robert has a habit of expressing his opinions via whining, pouting, and interpretive tantrum dances. My favorite is the one where he inches across the floor cocooned in a blanket with his rear end in the air while whining about some injustice he has perceived against himself.

Lately the interpretive dances come with threats. I think he thinks he can show power over us if he comes up with an effective enough threat. It doesn’t work, but he did come up with some zingers today when he was deeply injured after we told him there would not be scrambled eggs for breakfast. (There was oatmeal, two kinds of cereal, or toast with Nutella. So, it’s not like I was saying there was no breakfast at all, just not eggs this morning.)

Here are my favorites:

“I am going to let the dog have all the ham!”

“I am not going to school!”

“I am going to eat the eggs RAW and get salmon!”

“I am going to eat hot lunch at school!”

He’s a real master of negotiation, that one is.


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