Medicine Bird

Funny Business, parenting fail

You know what I hate about sick kids? They get better.

When Aili was feeling like garbage, she was easy to medicate. Stuff the syringe in her little maw, squirt the medication in, watch as she swallows it meekly.

Oh, but she is feeling better now and, unfortunately for us, the recovery period and the medication dosage period do not match up. There is far more of that bubblegum pink medicine in the bottle than Aili has patience for being pumped full of antibiotics.

At first she would just shout at us and cry when we’d put it in her mouth. Then she started kicking. Then came the spitting out of the medication. Now, she has somehow managed to morph in to a rabid badger at the sight of a full syringe.

She bit through my fingernail two nights ago. I kid you not.

So, we decided to get creative. I have tried hiding medicine in her food and drink before with absolutely no success. This girl has some kind of super power to detect Tylenol in apple sauce. She won’t even touch it if she thinks there is something that could possibly make her feel better hidden inside. But, I had a tub of Neopolitan ice cream and a heaping pile of desperation so, I had to try it just one more time.

The strawberry band of ice cream was the exact same color as her antibiotic so, I squirted a dose on top of the ice cream and put it on the table.

“Aili! Quick! I got you some ice cream, but it’s melting! You’ll have to eat it fast!”

She dashed over and was so excited that I was giving her a bowl of ice cream at 9 in the morning, she gobbled it all up and licked the bowl clean.

It was truly miraculous. Up until that moment, I was certain I was going to have to lose most of my finger tips to get her to finish off that bottle. But, of course, there was a problem. Two problems.

The brothers.

They weren’t there when I did the medicine-in-the-ice cream trick the first time, but I knew they would be for her next dose. I was only giving her a little snip of ice cream, but I knew it would be enough to send the boys in to a jealous rage. (I may be crazy enough to give one kid ice cream at breakfast and bed time, but three kids? No way, Jose!)

Brandon was preparing Aili’s ice cream and I pulled the boys over and told them what was going on before they could start begging for their own bowls. I let them know it was just so Aili would take her medication and that it was a BIG SECRET.

Suddenly it was okay that she got ice cream and they didn’t. Secrets are fun! They scampered to the kitchen to see the ice cream preperation and then skittered back, giggling. They were bursting at the seems because they knew a BIG SECRET.

Dread filled my stomach as I watched the boys watch Aili take her first bite of the ice cream. They were just DYING to tell her there was medicine hidden in her treat. They were vibrating because they knew she was being duped. It was almost painful to  watch them.

“MEDI-cinder block!” shouted Robert in what I can only presume is a secret-induced form of Tourette’s.

“MEDICINE BIRD!” screamed Peter, not to be outdone by his brother. They just had to find a way to let it out without getting in trouble for telling Aili what was in her ice cream.

Aili kept eating as I shushed the boys and reminded them there were certain things they shouldn’t tell certain people or they will be certainly going to bed NOW.

“MEDICINE BIRD! MEDICINE BIRD!” the boys chanted, running around Aili like a couple of hyper-active Labrador retrievers.

Aili dropped her spoon. “DADDY!!!”

Oh no. Here it comes. She’s figured it out. The jig is up. Those boys are SO going to bed NOW.

“Peter called me a med-sin biwd!” Aili howled, deeply offended by an insult she could neither say or understand.

“It’s okay. Eat your ice cream,” Brandon said while dragging the boys out of the kitchen.

She finished up her medicine and the boys were herded off to bed before they could spill the beans. But, all bets are off for tomorrow. Ug.



3 thoughts on “Medicine Bird

  1. Hahaha! This is so funny! What a great story! I think that you may have just discovered the greatest parenting trick of all time. Kids will eat ANYTHING if it is put into ice cream! Just wait until Aili discovers what you have been doing, though…All bets are off! 😉

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